Lost Queen
by RPM Shadow
Summary: Guilt, sorrow, and pain. Lots of pain when you lose people you love. Susan fights and refuses to accept the fact that she can never see her brothers, and sister again. But near the end she does accept.


**Lost Queen**

Disclaimer: I just own Natalie.

Summery: Guilt, sorrow, and pain. Lots of pain when you lose people you love. Susan fights and refuses to accept the fact that she can never see her brothers, and sister again. But near the end she does accept.

XXX

Susan sat in front of her vanity, just staring at her reflection. She didn't know how long she sat there, but she didn't care.

Until the door opened and her friend slowly walked in. "Susan?" She asked as she stood in front of the door. "Are you coming?"

"I'm not going." Susan said flatly, she continued to sit in front of her vanity and staring at her reflection.

Natalie's eyes widened. "Not going? But Susan!"

"I'm not going!" Susan screamed as she jumped to her feet and walked over to the double window that was in her room.

"It's your family Susan." Natalie protested. "How can you not go?"

Susan never turned around. "If I go it means its real."

"Your family would want you there." Natalie argued. "You won't be alone cause I'll be by your side."

"Get out!" Susan screamed, tears starting to stream down her cheeks.

"But I."- Natalie trailed off and jumped when Susan grabbed a perfume bottle and threw it at a wall. "Come down when you're ready." She said in a sad voice and left the room, closing the door behind her.

Susan fell to her knees as her sobs consumed her and she sobbed into her hands. They were heart-wrenching, body shaking sobs. She stayed like that for a long time until she finally cried herself to sleep.

XXX

In the dead of night, Susan slowly sat up and looked around her room. The normal perfectly ordered room was now a mess. Her perfectly made bed was now messy as her blankets were in a tangled mess on the floor, the mattress was half on the bed and half off, clothes were thrown everywhere, her make-up was scattered around the floor mixing with books that were also scattering the floor and the perfume stain that was on the wall where she had thrown it.

Slowing sitting up, Susan walked out of her trashed room. Peering her head in the hall, she looked up and down the hall before stepping out, she did not want to talk to anyone.

Walking up to the first door, she slowly reached for the doorknob, taking a deep breath she opened the door and slowly walked in.

XXX

It was Lucy's room. It looked just the way Lucy had left it.

Susan walked over to the bed and stared at the stuffed lion that was seating on the pillow. She remembers when Lucy got it, Lucy had gotten it after she, and Edmund returned from their last trip to Narnia.

XXX

_Lucy walked into her home and found her siblings in the living room. "You guys aren't going to believe what I just found!" She bounced into the room, then plopped down in Peter's lap causing him to wince._

_Edmund looked up from his chess game. "What did you find Lu?"_

_Lucy beamed as she reached into the bag she had been holding and pulled out a stuffed lion. "This!" She showed it to them. "Isn't he cute? He looks like Aslan!"_

XXX

Susan picked up the stuffed animal and held it close, she remembered saying Lucy shouldn't have a stuffed animal to remind her of Aslan and that it was a stupid idea to have it named after him. Of course that made Lucy upset and she cried causing both Peter, and Edmund to yell at her for being so mean, then they made her apologize.

Feeling something cold against her hand, Susan looked down and noticed the collar around the stuffed lion's neck and she burst into tears because Peter, Lucy, and Edmund made it out of a small metal chain, and they even gave it a tag.

Susan held the stuffed animal close to her chest, and just stood there for the longest time.

XXX

Natalie walked down the hallway. "Susan?" She called. "I know your going to scream at me again, but I just want to talk." Seeing one of four doors open, she walked over to it and peered in.

Susan was lying fast asleep in the middle of Lucy's bedroom. Peter's quilt wrapped around her, Edmund's portable chessboard, and Lucy's stuffed lion were seating close to Susan who was in the middle.

"Su." Natalie sighed, she walked up to the candle that was on the nightstand and blew it out before leaving and closing the door softly behind her.

XXX

The following day, Susan was back in her bedroom and was now in a black dress, black gloves, black heels and a black purse.

Natalie slowly walked in. "Are you ready?"

Susan took a deep breath. "Yeah." She turned to her friend. "They would never forgive me if I didn't go to their funeral."

Natalie smiled. "Come on."

XXX

At the church Susan was seating between her Aunt Alberta, and Uncle Harold.

XXX

After it was all over Susan returned to her empty home, walking over to the living room she plopped down on the couch and hugged a pillow to her chest. And that's how she fell asleep.

"Susan."

Susan stirred in her sleep, but didn't wake.

"Susan."

Susan finally opened her eyes and got up, she walked over to one of the windows and looked out it. She was shocked to see the window was fogged and writing.

"_Do be happy Susan_." Was the top message. "_We are all fine_." Was the second message.

Susan turned around and saw her siblings standing there. "Don't be sad for us Su." Peter told her.

"Yeah." Edmund nodded. "It'll be alright."

"And maybe we'll meet again." Lucy finished. "We love you Su."

Susan's eyes watered. "I love you three."

Then the three turned as one and walked away, disappearing in thin air.

XXX

**Hope you all like it! Took me almost all day.**


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